she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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