it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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