this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
