I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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