so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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