And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
