i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's just like the Real World with babies
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
