We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
