Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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