sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
