Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
