I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
