when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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