we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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