So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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