And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
