This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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