Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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