i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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