So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you had me at cake vodka
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
