Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm bleeding and have questions
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
