No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
