I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
