I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
