Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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