Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
