: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
