I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
