I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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