thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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