Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
