Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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