yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
