im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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