i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
