giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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