I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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