I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
