we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
