Buhtt sex?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
are you so shy because you have an std?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
