We're like a lot better than the average bears
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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