Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
