Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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