At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
