She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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