dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
