if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
