id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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