I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
