She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
